13 March, 2009

My Red Nose Day Baked Beans Bath Marathon

Updated - 12 midnight

Happy Red Nose Day!

Comic Relief asked us to do something funny for money and so I am going to lie in a bath of baked beans for 24 hours, which is the whole day! Wacky or what?! And I might even end up in the Guinness Book of Records again - but this time it will be on purpose!

I will be taking my laptop in the tub with me in just a few moments so I can listen to music, watch TV and also update you throughout the day.
Although I might be having such a good old fun time, I might forget.

But I'm not doing it for nothing. Please give a little or a lot but at least a little to Comic Relief. Thank you.

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I am now in the bath of baked beans! Wha-hey! It's squishy! Perhaps I should have worn clothes, these bloody beans are getting everywhere. No, clothes are for wimps, I'm glad I'm naked. Plus I'm sure it's a special thrill for some, if not all, of my readers to know that I'm blogging in the buff, oh natural and completely stitchless. Yeah baby...

I shall try and get more pictures up during the day but after that first one above, my digital camera has been playing silly buggers. Not literally, obviously. I'm not that bored.

I'm going to try and sleep now and I'm not having second thoughts already. This is great fun! Only 23 hours and 48 minutes to go!


Tonight on BBC1, from 7pm onwards, you will see short harrowing films of suffering caused by poverty, war and disease. That's nothing compared to what I'm going through with this stupid fundraiser.

I woke up starving but had forgotten to bring any food up to the bathroom. Michelle pointed out in the comments I could always eat the baked beans but I can't stand baked beans. And they're cold. And I got them cheap because they were way past their sell by date. In retrospect it should have been a bath of chicken tikka balti, peshwari naan and pilau rice instead. Mmmm...I just need to hold on until midnight. You can do it, Robin!

If those HIV/AIDS orphans in Africa that Comic Relief helps had laptops and Internet access and could read English and were reading my blog right now, I am sure they would be cheering and jumping up and down with joy that I am prepared to do without food for so long.

What is slightly worrying me is that the beans are turning me orange, is that normal? I'm beginning to look like the Tango man. It had better not be permanent.

Of course I could end the marathon now and go and get some food and wash the stinky beans off (in that order, I really am starving to death here) and no-one would know but I would know. I have hundreds of visitors a day and I'm sure every one of you is donating to Comic Relief only because I, your hero, is supporting it. There is an unbreakable bond of trust between us and I promise I won't let you down.

Now my bloody mobile won't upload the pictures of me in the bath. Typical.

Michelle asked if I'm allowed to leave the bath to go to the toilet. I think not but I haven't checked with the Guinness Book of Records yet. Luckily I've only needed a number one so far and, not to brag, but I can reach the toilet from where I am.

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Yes! I've done it. I've been in a bath of baked beans for 24 whole hours. I have raised millions of of the 41 million raised so far, at a guess, and I've set a new world record. Actually, what was the old record? Bear with me a moment.

Guinness tastes like shit! And the book is shit too with it's stupid pointless so called facts. I've just found out that the so called new editor of the so called book "Craig Glenday" (what a stupid so-called name) said this: "I've removed things like the longest time spent sitting in a bath of baked beans as there are much more worthwhile things to do with your time."

Well, thank you very much. Thank you very much indeed, you jumped up arsehole! How dare you? How bloody dare you? 24 hours I've been in here, that's equivalent to a day,
you patronising get.

Anyway, thanks to my loyal readers and their generosity in donations I don't think it's been a waste of time. So there.

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Anonymous said...

Hope the beans aren't too cold by now. Good Luck

Michelle Goode said...

I think you'll hate it by the end of the day! Still, least you won't go hungry!

I was wondering... How might I get that deadlines list box over to the right of your blog onto mine? It's fantastic for keeping track of all the contests and such :)

Best of luck with the beans challenge! I take it you're allowed out to go to the toilet... ? lol

Robin Kelly said...

Thanks Ano and Michelle.

Shell, The option to embed the calender should be there somewhere as someone has added it to a writing website.

I'm not sure how it works if you don't own the calendar but it does work somehow.

Otherwise you can simply copy the events across to your own calender where it should be easy to embed, that way you can also pick and choose which ones to display..

Michelle Goode said...

Thanks :)

I've got the calendar and was able to copy over all the deadline info, but I have no idea how to now get the calendar on my profile! Any ideas?

Paul McIntyre said...

This is excellent! Don't waste the beans afterwards - get down to your local soup kitchen and donate them - your charity need never end.

Careful sleeping too - you can drown in a puddle you know...

Antonia said...

A million housewives every day, pick up a tin of beans and say, Beans Means Dimes.

Well done!

Robin Kelly said...

Thanks for your support Paul and Antonia.

Shell, you need to put the embedding code in a "HTML/JavaScript" gadget.

Anonymous said...

I've just come to this late, but, brilliant, well done. Hope you had the heating on.

You've presumably buffed up nice after your shower, you know what ketchup does to a tarnished old tuppence.

Sharing baby stories, a friend pointed out to me that you can tell babies fed on jarred food because their noses are orange.

Shame the donations page isn't linked to you for you to keep a tab on how much your peculiar brand of generosity translates into spondoolicks.

And just where does one go for a bathtubful of well-past-it baked beans? What category would you look up in the yellow pages?

Robin Kelly said...

Terry, Regarding the cheap beans, I put the word out and a friend of a friend's uncle's second cousin's (on the mother's side) dentist's father-in-law owns a warehouse and had some discontinued cans he was about to dispose of. Only cost me a fifty pounds.

I'm actually still orange after a shower and a thorough scrubbing. Now I think of it, he didn't say why the beans were discontinued...

Michelle Goode said...

Well done for sticking it out!

How much did you raise?

And woopeee, I managed to get the calendar on my profile! I'll admit that I had to get help from my IT wizard of a fiance though... he he!