13 March, 2009
Updated - 12 midnight
Happy Red Nose Day!
Comic Relief asked us to do something funny for money and so I am going to lie in a bath of baked beans for 24 hours, which is the whole day! Wacky or what?! And I might even end up in the Guinness Book of Records again - but this time it will be on purpose!
I will be taking my laptop in the tub with me in just a few moments so I can listen to music, watch TV and also update you throughout the day. Although I might be having such a good old fun time, I might forget.
But I'm not doing it for nothing. Please give a little or a lot but at least a little to Comic Relief. Thank you.
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I am now in the bath of baked beans! Wha-hey! It's squishy! Perhaps I should have worn clothes, these bloody beans are getting everywhere. No, clothes are for wimps, I'm glad I'm naked. Plus I'm sure it's a special thrill for some, if not all, of my readers to know that I'm blogging in the buff, oh natural and completely stitchless. Yeah baby...
I shall try and get more pictures up during the day but after that first one above, my digital camera has been playing silly buggers. Not literally, obviously. I'm not that bored.
I'm going to try and sleep now and I'm not having second thoughts already. This is great fun! Only 23 hours and 48 minutes to go!
Tonight on BBC1, from 7pm onwards, you will see short harrowing films of suffering caused by poverty, war and disease. That's nothing compared to what I'm going through with this stupid fundraiser.
I woke up starving but had forgotten to bring any food up to the bathroom. Michelle pointed out in the comments I could always eat the baked beans but I can't stand baked beans. And they're cold. And I got them cheap because they were way past their sell by date. In retrospect it should have been a bath of chicken tikka balti, peshwari naan and pilau rice instead. Mmmm...I just need to hold on until midnight. You can do it, Robin!
If those HIV/AIDS orphans in Africa that Comic Relief helps had laptops and Internet access and could read English and were reading my blog right now, I am sure they would be cheering and jumping up and down with joy that I am prepared to do without food for so long.
What is slightly worrying me is that the beans are turning me orange, is that normal? I'm beginning to look like the Tango man. It had better not be permanent.
Of course I could end the marathon now and go and get some food and wash the stinky beans off (in that order, I really am starving to death here) and no-one would know but I would know. I have hundreds of visitors a day and I'm sure every one of you is donating to Comic Relief only because I, your hero, is supporting it. There is an unbreakable bond of trust between us and I promise I won't let you down.
Now my bloody mobile won't upload the pictures of me in the bath. Typical.
Michelle asked if I'm allowed to leave the bath to go to the toilet. I think not but I haven't checked with the Guinness Book of Records yet. Luckily I've only needed a number one so far and, not to brag, but I can reach the toilet from where I am.
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Yes! I've done it. I've been in a bath of baked beans for 24 whole hours. I have raised millions of of the 41 million raised so far, at a guess, and I've set a new world record. Actually, what was the old record? Bear with me a moment.
Guinness tastes like shit! And the book is shit too with it's stupid pointless so called facts. I've just found out that the so called new editor of the so called book "Craig Glenday" (what a stupid so-called name) said this: "I've removed things like the longest time spent sitting in a bath of baked beans as there are much more worthwhile things to do with your time."
Well, thank you very much. Thank you very much indeed, you jumped up arsehole! How dare you? How bloody dare you? 24 hours I've been in here, that's equivalent to a day, you patronising get.
Anyway, thanks to my loyal readers and their generosity in donations I don't think it's been a waste of time. So there.
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